YAOI Broadcast Student Council Edition
by StromLantern
Summary: In a school where boy love is the most popular thing, Elizaveta runs a popular talk show with the intent of hooking up couples.  With her ninja/mangaka assistant Kiku, she sets out to turn the newly elected Student Council into lovers. Who are they? FACE.
1. Chapter 1

"Alright, good afternoon, everyone. Its Elizaveta here and my cohost and artist for this show, Kiku Honda."

"Konnichiwa, everyone."

"Or is it Honda Kiku? I always get confused."

"Either is fine, Elizaveta-chan."

"Well, all the hard core otaku's out there will know. He's from Japan, and guess what else is from Japan, anime, manga, and what we are here to talk about today. . .YAOI. Now, as I'm sure you all heard, as you were required to vote, on our student council members. This year its an all male council, now just picture it with me, a room where four males get together after school and discuss. In an argument over rules, emotion and passion rise to a revered pitch and. . .well, I know you can picture what happens. So a brief profile of each of the members. Our president is Arthur Kirkland, Kiku, please put up the photo. Alright, Arthur is a green-eyed Brit with wit and a standoffish attitude. Still, he's hot in a particular way, especially if the Vice President succeeds in his goal to shave off part of his gargantuan eyebrows while he's sleeping."

"He is the epitome of tsundere."

"Right! And if you don't know what that is, read the YAOI Dictionary, for sale for only four USD. Anyway, then we have Francis Bonnefoy, vice president. He has quite the reputation so you have probably heard of/been groped by/dated Francis and you're not alone, he's not selective by gender. He is notoriously French and is a member of the Bad Friends Trio, made up of Francis, Gilbert, and Antonio."

"In the YAOI Superlatives from last year, he made Most Flirty and Most Partners."

"That is Francis Bonnefoy. Next is the Treasurer, Alfred F. Jones. Chances are you've heard of him as he's one of the most popular guys in school. He's hyper, smart but is too busy goofing of to work, and one of the few people that can be characterized as adorkable and hot at the same time. Just look at his picture. Take it in. Look at the geeky NASA shirt paired with the glasses and a leather military jacket, while playing on a Nintendo DS."

"Though I do wonder how he was elected as Treasurer, when he's one of the most economically irresponsible people out there."

"Who cares? He's hot. Though he has broken several girls hearts in the past for the reason that he cares more about his twin brother than anyone else. And that brings us to the Secretary. . .wait, what's Alfred's brother's name?"

"Let me check, its below his picture."

"Oh, Matthew Williams. They have different last names due to their parents divorce. He's exactly what his brother is not. He's quiet, bookish, kind of a pushover, but he is so cute. Just look at the picture. He is so cute that he is one of the only guys that can be considered moe. He's scared of public speaking and is extremely close to his brother. He was elected by default as no one else ran for Secretary. There's rumors going around that his brother signed him up with asking him."

"So that's your Student Council! Who's excited for this year? Alright, now for potential pairings. Arthur has a notorious hate relationship with Francis Bonnefoy. The common pattern is that Francis will start flirting and Arthur will throw something at him. That could lead to an extremely interesting relationship. Arthur is extremely annoyed by everything Alfred does but could that be covering hidden feelings and could Alfred's persistent attempts to annoy him be something else? Francis and. . .Matthew make a good match. They both speak French and Francis may be just the person to bring Matthew out of his shell. Then, as we mentioned before how close the brothers are, which leads us to. . .TWINCEST! An extremely desirable outcome, seeing as they are opposites, they'll complement each other perfectly. Or the BEST outcome, which is FOURSOME!"

"Shouldn't you continue?"

"I was pausing for dramatic effect. If you missed any of that, check out the chart below. Anyway, so the first Student Council Meeting is this week and due to my ninja friend here, Kiku, we have cameras installed in the room. We have already come up with a plan that will be put into action. The details are a surprise. And doujinshous are for sale, drawn by Kiku, with all of the pairings listed here. How much are they Kiku?

"Only 5 USD and for five more, you can request the pairing and the plot."

"There you have it. Don't miss out on these drawings of YAOI pairings. Oh and one more thing, nobody says a word of this to any guy, especially my boyfriend. Alright, Elizaveta signing off."

"Sayonara."

Arthur-extremely annoyed by-Francis

^ -flirts with- ^

I I

I FOURSOME! common language

annoys I

I V

Alfred-possible TWINCEST-Matthew

. . .

This broadcast was kind of the intro. The next chapters will be real time, but there will be a couple more like this. This is basically Elizaveta and Kiku trying to hook pairings up. I haven't decided what pairings it will end with so. . .you know what that means(Review and give me your imput). There is also a convenient chart I made to address the pairings. So anyway, the updating schedule, I will try is the same as Pretendre (which by the way, I am going to edit the last chapter at one point so everything isn't so happy. Franada). Basically, I will update, once every two weeks. For every review, I get I will reduce the amount of days by one. So if I get five reviews, I will update in nine days. I think that method is fair because I love getting reviews and I don't feel right demanding them. Like saying I won't update until I get this many reviews. Plus, this way, you get the chapter sooner. So I hope this way, everyone is happy. I hope you liked the story and feel free to give me concrit or suggestions. Thank you for reading.


	2. Chapter 2

Matthew woke up blearily, hand coming to his face instinctively. He felt the Post-It Note and pulled it off his forehead. He seriously wondered how Alfred had managed to stick it on while he was sleeping. At least he assumed it was Alfred; he couldn't think of anyone else that would stick a Post-It Note to his face. He looked at the note. Definitely Alfred. He wrote everything in all caps. It annoyed his teachers to death. HEY MATTIE! I DISMANTLED YOUR ALARM CLOCK TO USE THE BATTERY FOR MY DS. WENT TO STUDENT COUNCIL MEETING. . -.- . -... .-. - .- ... / .- .-.. . .-. -

Okay, the morse code was seriously annoying. Matthew knew Morse Code, but it was far too early in the morning. It was only like- he picked up the iPod next to his bed- 10:58 in the morning. Still sleeping-in time. Then he remembered what Alfred had said, oh crap, the Student Council Meeting. It was the first one and by some weird happening, Matthew was 'elected' Secretary, though technically it was by default. He had approximately two minutes until he was late.

After a stream of Quebecois profanity, he began throwing on the uniform. Plaid purple pants, Francis called them an atrocity of nature level with a Chimera, white collared shirt, tie, sweater, blue jacket and he was finally finished. It was a burdensome and painful uniform to put on but Matthew didn't want to break school regulations, his brother in fact had no such qualms. Alfred was reliably missing at least one item of the uniform everyday. People joked that he had his own rules and that may be so, considering that there was a Williams Library and Jones Science Complex. Their parents were rich and divorced.

Matthew was soon running down the halls of the school, trying to be slow enough not to violate the no running indoors policy while still hurrying; he didn't want to be late.

"So I guess, we're all here then?" Arthur tried to take control of the hubbub, which included two people. "Francis, need I remind you that harassing students on Facebook is against the rules? And Alfred, its time to put the game away."

"Its not harassment if they consent, eventually."

"When the zombie apocalypse comes, I'm not saving you."

"This is a Student Council Meeting. You can play your little games on your own time." Alfred looked at him seriously, for one of the first times. Not much could make Alfred serious.

"I am determining the fate of the human race."

"Why do I bother?" He took a minute to mourn the loss of something he liked to call sanity than mustered all his resolve. "I call this Student Council Meeting to order." He hit his gavel on Francis' head. Alfred jumped up and made a thumbs up.

"Nice shot, Iggy!" Matthew burst in the door as Francis lay twitching on the ground.

"Oh, gosh, I'm so sorry. How late am I? I didn't mean to be late; I just overslept because my alarm clock was dissected. I'm really sorry." He finally took in the situation. "Eh, what's going on?" It made quite a picture, Alfred was in a pose, but Matthew considered that normal, Francis was laying on the floor murmuring something in French Matthew wasn't sure he wanted to hear and Arthur was holding a gavel and looking quite smug with himself.

"Oh, Mattie, there you are. Did you get my message?"

"Al, why didn't you wake me up? I have to go to the meeting too and you disabled my alarm."

"I needed it."

"Al."

"Uh, sorry."

"You're buying me a new one." There was a pause.

"Mattie, can I borrow twenty bucks?"

"And somehow you got elected treasurer."

"Matthew, I will not count you late, because you obviously tried and were only one second late. Plus, you are in charge of taking attendance. Now if you would just take a seat, we can begin the meeting." Matthew looked around the room.

"Eh, I don't mean to be difficult but there's not an open seat." Francis who had managed to recover and get into his seat, elegantly waved one arm.

"Mon cher, I offer my lap as a seat."

"There must have been an error by whoever set the room up. I will contact them later and make sure they have four chairs next time. For today, as we are already starting late, if you would share a chair with someone." Matthew walked over to Alfred and sat on his lap. Alfred, of course, immediately started moving.

"Al, you have to stay still. I have to write the minutes." Matthew rearranged himself so he was lying across Alfred, head and knees on either armrest, forming a makeshift desk. "Alright, now, I call this meeting to order." He tried to ignore Francis, mournfully crying about his rejection. Alfred was still playing video games and managed to put the DS in such a place that Matthew couldn't write anything. Finally, Matthew gave up and snatched the game, turned the switch off and put it under the chair.

"Hey!"

"Al, this is a student council meeting, not free time."

"It's called multitasking."

"Al," he reprimanded.

"It's educational."

"Al, that doesn't work on your teachers and it won't work on me, you should probably stop with that excuse."

"Fine. But Mattie, one day you'll feel guilty that you didn't let me practice my zombie survival skills. I'm still going to save you though. I'm not saving Arty though."

"My name is Arthur and not whatever infernal nickname you happen to come up with."

"Al, its not nice to make up names for people."

"Yeah, but Arthur takes too long to say. See, Arrrtttttthhhhhhhuuuuurrrrr. Or it could just be Arty."

"Still, that's not nice."

"You like it when I call you Mattie, right?"

"Yes."

"And I like it when you call me Al. So what's the problem?"

"Well, mon cher, that's what his maman calls him."

"Mattie, translate."

"That's what his mother calls him." The expression on his face was extremely bewildered and surprised.

"Arty has a mommy?"

"Of course, I have a mother, you bloody git." Alfred laughed.

"You said bloody. Just like in Harry Potter."

"Can you even comprehend the literature of Harry Potter?"

"I watched the movies."

"Anyway, how could I not have a mother?"

"I thought you hatched. I didn't think the stork would deliver babies with that huge of eyebrows."

"Why you, I should challenge you to a duel for your insolence."

"Arty, get with the times. Now you just shoot people."

"Fine. Pistols then."

"Of course, you can't shoot me because I'm the hero! I can dodge bullets." Alfred stood up and struck a dramatic pose, while talking. Matthew rolled off his lap and hit the floor. While Alfred and Arthur continued their argument, Francis beckoned Matthew over, and trying to get away from the war zone, he went.

"Well, mon cheri, have you two not yet had the Talk?"

"No."

"Well, if you need any information on the practical application of anything, my door is always open." He flourished a business card, held elegantly between two fingers.

"Uh, thanks, I think." Francis watched the boy walk away with a satisfied grin. He had to have inherited at least some French- Canadian attitude. The key word being French.

Matthew then tried to get their argument under control. "Al, Al, listen we need to have the meeting. Al, come on. It's pointless to argue." The verbal protests were ignored so finally he took drastic measures. "Al, if you don't stop arguing right now, I'm going to beat your high score in the video game."

"Mattie, NOOO, you can't."

"Now, come on and sit back down, let's have the meeting. If you're good, I'll play Wii with you later." Strangely enough, this seemed to get him under control. Alfred returned to seat and Matthew once again sat on his lap.

"Now, ahem, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted."

"Actually, Arty, you weren't interrupted. You weren't saying anything."

"W-what are you talking about?"

"It's on Mattie's copy of the minutes."

"Matthew, if you could erase everything after 'I call this meeting to order.'" Matthew nodded. "Now, Alfred, I don't know what you're talking about." He kept talking before Alfred had a chance to interrupt him. "Now, as today is the first meeting of the year, we need to start outlining our plans for the rest of the term. Notable events include but are not limited to: Homecoming, Parent Night, Winter Dance, activities over winter break, Valentine's Dance, Exam Week activities, Prom, and so on. I believe that if we plan this right we can have an event each month. Matthew, are you ready to write?" Matthew nodded and elbowed Alfred to get him to stop moving. "Homecoming is usually in the month of October and Parent Night is November."

Alfred interrupted now. "I motion that we abolish Parent Night."

"Rejected."

"Al, thats not very nice."

"Hmph." Al began to pout.

"Moving on, Winter Dance in December, I'm refusing to head the committee. Then we need winter break activities for those staying here over the holidays. Is anyone planning on staying?"

"Of course not, Arthur, it would mean denying so many willing girls back home."

"I don't want to know what you're doing home. I just asked whether anyone was staying. Your contribution was worthless. Matthew, go ahead and delete that from the minutes. It would be troublesome if the Vice President was involved in another scandal."

"I know you're jealous." Arthur turned bright red.

"Why would you think I would ever be jealous of you?"

"Then are you jealous of the girls? Well, Arthur, there's always a spot open for you."

"I am not jealous and I don't even what to be near you."

"And why are you blushing mon cher?"

"I am not blushing; I am red with anger." Arthur tried to be civil. It would not due if a British gentleman lost his temper to a lesser being, namely, a frog. "Now, Matthew, please delete that entire conversation from the register. Are you two planning on staying?"

"Maybe. It depends on whether Dad kept his deadlines." Alfred answered.

"What Al means is that if Dad did all the work he was supposed to do before Christmas, when he gets paid, he'll send us on a trip. If Dad forgot his deadlines, then we'll stay here."

"When will you find out?"

"When Mom's Christmas letter comes and she calls Dad an incompetent irresponsible moron," Alfred said bitterly.

Matthew summarized it, "Its best not to count on us. Do you have Christmas plans?"

"Yes, I'm going to visit my family."

"Alright, should we maybe appoint a committee chair out of the people that are staying and Al and I could help if we're here."

"Alright, next, February is whatever stupid thing teenagers like to do to commemorate nonsense."

"Mon cher, you cannot mean Valentine's Day."

"Of course I do."

"Mon cher, Valentine's Day is the holiday of l'amour, the most potent force on earth."

"Mattie, what is lamer?"

"Love, Al. Now be quiet. You didn't raise your hand to speak."

"After I was so rudely interrupted, moving on, March we don't currently have plans, as with April, May is Prom and exams are in June, where we'll need stress-relieving activities. Matthew, do you have all that?"

"Yes."

"Good, now does anyone have anything to say?" When both Francis and Alfred opened their mouth, he amended his statement. "That isn't either inane, suggestive or including French." All was quiet except for Alfred whispering,

"Mattie, what does inane mean?"

"Al, just hush."

"Alright."

"Good, then do we have anything else to consider?"

"The faculty said that they wanted to give us the first meeting before dumping concerns on us."

"If we don't have anything else, this meeting is adjourned. Next week, same time, same place, oh and um, Secretary."

"Yes?"

"Ask for another chair." Matthew nodded. Arthur strode out of the room. He checked his watch. Yep, he had to wrap that meeting up fast but he made it, he strode toward the show that he wouldn't admit watching to anyone else, Doctor Who.

Alfred kinda pushed Matthew up and then stood up himself.

"C'mon, Mattie. Let's go play Wii. You promised. We are so playing baseball." Matthew cringed while Alfred grabbed his wrist and pulled him out the door. He turned back to Francis, who was looking perplexed at his iPhone(he got it as a fashion necessity not as a communicator/video game platform/internet browser/everything else it does).

"Bye, Francis."

"Oh, Buon notte, Mathieu." Matthew thought he translated that right, but it wasn't night. He finally let Alfred pull him back to the dorm room and shove a Wii remote in his hand.

. . .

Btw, the Morse Code, says Eyebrows Alert.

Sorry this took so long but I'm trying to get the overall plot figured out. Well, it looks like most people want either a foursome or AmeCan and FrUK. I'll have to work on that one. No idea really how to write a foursome without them getting drunk. For Matthew and Alfred, at the moment, I'm trying to make their relationship as ambiguous as possible. Next we'll see the second episode of the YAOI Broadcast. Please let me know what you think of the characterization, what pairings you want(if they've changed or you haven't reviewed before) and any suggestions for hilarious happenings influenced by the Yaoi Broadcast. And as one reviewer asked, for Poland to be involved with the webshow. He's most certainly girly enough but I don't know whether he really likes romance. So opinions on that? I will start to get some of the boys involved. I have a whole mini plot involved there. Since this is high school(a boarding school no less), shenanigans happen and if you have any suggestions, I can try to fit them in. Also, if any reader did not laugh once in this entire chapter, I may have to commit seppuku. So tell me whether you think its funny. I have what I think are hilarious arguments stored up as well as some used this chapter. Just let me know what you think overall. See you next chapter.


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